Today's reason I lucked out with my wife

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 01/30/2017 at 13:56 • Filed to: None

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I’m terrible at getting out the door in a timely fashion, and my wife likes picking outfits, so she sometimes puts out clothes for me. Today she said, “I put out those comfy pants you like because I know you get sore after leg day.” Thanks babe!

(My legs are not as big as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .)

TheHondaBro > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:01

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They’re not cargo shorts though.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:02

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Those look like my friends legs after biking cross Canada.

CalzoneGolem > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:04

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My wife refuses to pick out clothes for me

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem 01/30/2017 at 14:09

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I don’t think I even know how to dress myself anymore...

Future next gen S2000 owner > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/30/2017 at 14:12

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Who wears clothes anyway?

TheHondaBro > Future next gen S2000 owner 01/30/2017 at 14:14

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Keep Oppo nude.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:22

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I know track cyclist get big, but this is bordering on ludicrous.

CalzoneGolem > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/30/2017 at 14:22

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This implies you did know how to at one point.

CalzoneGolem > Future next gen S2000 owner 01/30/2017 at 14:23

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People in the north.

cluelessk > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:23

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My girlfriend would dress me like a douchebag if I let her.

I’ll gladly dress myself.

crowmolly > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:23

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Dude is a total freak

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem 01/30/2017 at 14:31

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I mean, at one point I lived by myself and was put together enough to impress my wife so she’d marry me... so, it’s possible?

Textured Soy Protein > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/30/2017 at 14:37

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When I lived alone, I would leave a clean load of laundry in the dryer for several days before finally folding it and putting it away. When I needed wrinkle-free clothes in the morning, I would turn the dryer on for a few minutes to re-fluff everything.

Clearly, I was in need of an intervention.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/30/2017 at 14:38

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The woman who taught my son how to track race had huge legs as well. I’m not small and she put me to shame.

CalzoneGolem > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/30/2017 at 14:46

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Maybe she just felt that you needed help. That’s my go to move.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 14:52

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Wait, there is something wrong with doing that?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem 01/30/2017 at 14:54

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I mean, my wife does enjoy a challenge so probably.

Rykilla303 > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 15:17

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I have a rule; If clothes are picked out for me... they are thrown on the floor and are automatically NOT BE WORN. Harsh, childish, super effective. I’m a big boy, I do it myself. LOL.

RutRut > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 15:23

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Lucky. My wife just laughs at my bar rash and my trying to put icy hot on my hips while avoiding specific regions.

Textured Soy Protein > RutRut 01/30/2017 at 15:38

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My wife complains about my callouses when she asks me for a neck rub, then says something like,

“Why don’t you use gloves when you lift? My brother uses gloves.”

Then I look at her like this.

RutRut > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 15:43

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Stevie P! Luckily my wife does Oly lifting and I powerlift, so she gets it; just enjoys mocking me.

Textured Soy Protein > cluelessk 01/30/2017 at 15:47

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The trick is to buy the clothes yourself so she can only dress you in combinations of items of your choosing.

You can avoid being given clothes as gifts which you keep out of a sense of guilt even though you don’t like them, if you act picky about stuff fitting you or not. It’s not an act for me, it’s just really hard to find clothes that fit me, being more of an athlete shape.

At this point the only clothes I get as gifts are usually from my mother-in-law who for entertainment, goes to Kohl’s and randomly buys whatever clearance rack items she thinks could be a good gift for someone at some point. She has a whole stash of random crap from Kohl’s that she gives as presents throughout the year. Thanks to Kohl’s generous no-receipt return policy, I can take back whatever she gives me that I don’t like.

Usually they tell me something like, “this was bought on clearance last July, here’s $6.32 in store credit.”

More often than not I keep the pajamas she gets me though. I’m well stocked on those now.

Textured Soy Protein > RutRut 01/30/2017 at 16:15

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I’ve thought about adding some light Olympic lifts to my routine but there’s not really a good place at my current gym to do that sort of stuff. Where I live, I’ve yet to find a gym with a serious free weight setup. Loads of machines and a couple squat racks and bench presses are the norm. My current gym doesn’t have a real deadlift platform, pretty much you’re stuck using the one squat rack that doesn’t have permanent crossbars at the bottom. I know normally deadlifting in the squat rack is a party foul but there’s no other option.

RutRut > Textured Soy Protein 01/30/2017 at 21:55

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I get spoiled training at a performance gym for strongman/PL/Oly. I’ve thrown in some clean and press and heavy KB swings to get ready for the Highland games this summer. Other than that I just run a Conjugate program. I’d say look for athletic training facilities as opposed to gyms and you will have more luck; I know there are quite a few around metro Detroit.

TheHondaBro > Textured Soy Protein 01/31/2017 at 18:38

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That’s the best way to do things.